Dear Tech Support --- A Funny

Came across this one in my email box. Don't know who thought this one up but he or she can't be a Baptist --- too much humor in 'em for that.

Enjoy!

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed
itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system
activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and
Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
selected. I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
attempting to run my favorite applications.. I’m thinking about going
back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,



REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people
upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a
Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and
is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to
delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to
uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to
Not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
Warnings-Alimony/Child Support.” I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and
work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background
application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C: \ APOLOGIZE,
Because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep
3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use
these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program
Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance
of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1
and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!!

DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.
This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
Irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support