Friday, July 3, 2009

Small Weddings

I've no idea how many weddings I've performed over the years. At least a hundred. One weekend I had 3 weddings. That was a killer. I can remember quite a few weekends where I've had an early afternoon & then a late afternoon wedding.

And I really don't like weddings.

Really. I don't.

Now before you call me a grouch & all, just hear me out. Weddings are fun; the fuss & mess & expense just doesn't cut it. I don't get it. None of it.

At larger weddings, the weekend is shot & my nerves need a serious vacation. Mothers are always in a tizzy. Bridzilla is ready to explode. The groom just wants it to be over. The guests are either snobs or ticked off --- or both. No such thing a a perfect wedding but the Cinderella Story is all the Miss Princess has dreamed about & her dad will pay anything to give her a helluva party.

I've had everything go wrong at weddings: fires; a streaker; storms; electrical outages; people pass out; kids being disruptive; rings dropped; ticks (no joke) found on the flower girl; never had anyone back out at the last minute --- yet.

Big weddings are just too stressful on everyone. Too expensive too.

Oddly enough, the weddings I most fondly remember are the small events. Outside or inside. Just a few friends & family. A small snack-finger food buffet. Lots of soft drinks, wine & beer for the guests. A cookout or cozy dinner reception at a non-upscale resturant. Good music. More like a family get together than a "wedding." No stress. No fuss. Everyone is happy. Everyone has a good time. And the couple starts out their life together without a debt.

Then there are the pictures at the Super Bowl Weddings. Sure, the professional photographer can give the really neat album but honestly, how long is that album even noticed? I don't think we've looked at our wedding album in 20 years. I know no one else has. But guess where it is? Sitting right slap dab in the middle of the living room as if it is the single most important thing in the whole danged house. I keep waiting for a guest to come in one day & ask to see it. Never has happened.

However, if there is ever a house fire & the people are interviewed on TV, what is it that the woman always says? We can't replace sentimental things like wedding pictures. Geez Almighty! Take a few snapshots with a disposable camera & put 'em in a safe deposit box for Pete's sake.

If there is ever a fire & I have a chance to get anything out, I'm grabbing my lap top & every old T-shirt I can carry --- you know, important stuff.

Smaller weddings are just better on everyone.

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