Sunday, April 12, 2009

Kids in Church

I am going to bring up the subject. Yes, I know it will mean some people want to kill me while others will want to nominate me for sainthood, if Baptists had such a thing. I don't care. I'm going to bring it up anyway.

Kids do not belong in the sanctuary during worship service and no kid should be allowed to vote on church matters until she is 18.

Let's tackle the disruptive kids first. Literally, let's tackle them. I have actually witnessed unruly kids running around the sanctuary during the worship time. No, they weren't being cute. They were being disruptive. When a kid is disruptive, she should not be in the sanctuary. There is a reason why we have a nursery & a children's area: People are trying to focus on God & hear what is going on & having a screaming/talking/whiny kid makes that impossible. It is rude. No kids in the church during worship. Period.

Now the voting thing. In many traditions, namely Baptist & other more congregational forms, all church members are allowed a vote, even children. Yet, children simply mimic their parents & do what their parents say, e.g., coercion. If a kid votes differently than his parents, it would not be good at home for that kid.

While I know of a few churches that do restrict members under the age of 18 from voting, those are few & far between.

It means a large family in a small church could "run things" by nature of an overly-active birthrate. Won't even have to be spiritual: just do a lot of begatting & you could get a church named after you.

So why do we allow kids a vote? We don't allow kids to vote in secular elections until they are 18. In many traditions, namely Baptist & other more congregational forms, all church members are allowed a vote, even children. Yet, children simply mimic their parents & do what their parents say, e.g., coercion. If a kid votes differently than his parents, it would not be good at home for that kid.

And let's not even go there about the whole "spiritual maturity" thing. Get real. Just because an 10 year has been baptized & may even excel in spiritual matters doesn't mean they can comprehend a vote on a budget. Yes, they are "members" of the body of Christ, but there is a huge difference in understanding the Gospel & understanding the contract for a land purchase, or an employment contract for the new pastor. What about the Standard Operating Procedures in the Operations Manual? Somehow I think the Membership Agreement for Conflict Resolution

But what do the overwhelming majority of church Constitutions say? Any baptized member can vote. (Side note: what about diminished mental capacity?)

It means a large family in a small church could "run things" by nature of an overly-active birthrate. Won't even have to be spiritual: just do a lot of begatting & you could get a church named after you.

Think about it: a family of mom, dad & 4 kids equal the same vote as 3 couples whose kids have moved on. Is that fair? And what if that one family decides they don't like the pastor for some reason. That is a huge voting block, is it not? I have seen way too many churches begin their death descent all because one or two families garnered all their kids to vote as a unit to do something that was not a good move.

Let's say Joe & Sally have it together, are growing in faith, etc. Then the Bubba & Jezebel Family with Heathen 1, Heathen 2, Heathen 3 & Heathen 4, all with no spiritual depth, care nothing for the good of the fellowship, want things to remain exactly as they were in 1950 . . . that's 6 votes against 2.

All it takes is one or two families that are not on the Good Side & the entire church can be in ruin for years.

That is why it is best, IMHO, to not allow kids to vote at all: the worst that can happen is the adult vote is on equal footing. Let's face it: letting kids vote is to guarantee the vote is skewed to the larger families, whether they are spiritual or not.

Just do an observation poll next time there is a vote: how many kids vote differently than their parents

Where in the NT did the church vote anyway, other than in Acts 6 voting for those who would do the visiting (deacons)? Now that's another subject for another post.

All this raises another question: if they are mature enough to decide to be a Christian, are the mature enough for voting? Just askin'. Maybe we need to re-visit our ideas about childhood evangelism.

I'm just sayin'.

3 comments:

Living in Memphis said...

With all respect, I could not disagree more with the idea "children do not belong in the worship service." God designs and loves families. We are designed to worship together. I am bothered by unruly children in worship, but that comes in a far second to being bothered by parents who will not train their children how to act in church service. And yes, any child of any age can be taught to sit through a service. I see NUMBERS of families do it every week, every year. Our society has invented the nursery to allow our parents to not discipline their children to sit. Whether or not the youngest children "get anything out of it" is not the issue. 1- the parents must discipline themselves to train their children; 2- children must learn to sit and listen (this is the cause for the explosion of young people falsely diagnosed with A.D.D). 3 - you would be surprised how much smaller children to listen and retain. 4 - the others in the congregation need to encourage couples to train their children and be patient with the occasional disruption. If an infant does cry uncontrollably, by all means one parents should remove the child for a time. If a toddler / older child get disruptive, spare not the rod.
Churches are made up of families. Families are made up of children - all children. We have raised the past two generations on church nurseries. Not coincidentally, the rise in nurseries has been accompanied by the increase in the youth ministry. More opportunities for parents to give control of their children over to "the church." Imagine the joy of a father sitting with his son or daughter in a worship service... they might even have food for a discussion on the way home!! I do not fault you for your views. You have been raised, by experience, to think that way. So was I. But as I have grown and reflected and observed children should be in the service and can be taught to act appropriately. KIDS IS CHURCH!

Living in Memphis said...

Oops.. Kids IN church! :-)

That Baptist Ain't Right said...

LiM: Glad you stopped by. I certainly disagree. With kids in the sanctuary it does a disservice to either the kid or the pastor/congregation, one of whom will get little out of what is going on compared to what =could= be accomplished on that age level. I used to have the same opinion as you, thinking that it taught the kids some reverence, family worship, etc. No more. Too many wasted opportunities to teach kids on their level; too many distractions for the adults in the sanctuary; too many hard feelings that develop with a whiny/problem child.

But that's just me. All Baptists mileage will certainly vary.