Friday, November 23, 2007

Holiday Travel

Maybe I am getting to be a curmudgeon, but I am getting a chaffed over this.

Every holiday season, I see the same report on the news: "This is a major holiday & experts say this is one of the busiest travel times of the year."

Ok, first of all, who are these "experts" the media keeps talking about? I have never heard of any degree program from any college that offers study in "Holiday Travel Statistics." Where do they find these experts --- at the Tooth Fairy Institute?

Second, how many "major" holidays are there anyway? Let's see . . . Starting on January 1 . . . There's New Year's Day. Memorial Day. Can't forget Independence Day. Labor Day. Then there is the month long holiday period of Thanksgiving and Christmas, which, of course, spills over to next year's New Year's Day.

So the "minor" holidays don't count. Well, duh! "Minor" holidays don't give folks a long weekend --- apart from government workers, who even get to stay home on "Boss Passed Gas Day ." Ground Hog Day. Flag Day. Kiss a Baptist Day. No one gets the Ramada Inn Holiday Package for those "minor" holidays, so obviously no one is traveling. And of course everyone stays close to home on Super Bowl Sunday.

So that leaves those "major" holidays with the "busiest holiday travel times." Ding! Ding! Ding! If it is a "major" holiday where most businesses are closed, and many, many people take a few extra days to travel, it should come as no surprise that every "major" holiday will be one of the busiest travel times of the year.

Could someone please state the obvious to those "experts"???

Third, why does the media even cover the story anyway? They could record one holiday travel piece, tape a few scenes for various times of the year, & just dub in the video and the name of the holiday. I mean --- good gosh! --- it is the same report every, single time anyway! Why make it so difficult? Just show the seasonal clip & splash the following bullet points on the screen:

1) You'll get there eventually, so ease off the pedal.
2) Allow yourself plenty of time in case the fast food doesn't agree with you. Bathroom stops will cut into your travel time.
3) The kids drive your neighbors crazy too, so don't think you're the exception.
4) Yes, your spouse is gonna gripe. Always does. Get over it.
5) Smile at the extended family. Lots of alcohol makes Uncle Billy smile more. SBCers & especially those in FLA aren't allowed that luxury, even for medicinal purposes. That means leave off the NyQuil, too.
6) Don't drive after bullet point #5 until you've had 8 hours sleep.
7) There is always a sporting event on TV. Earphones will help drown out the noise of The Others.
8) Yes, you have to go back to work after the holiday is over.

This should be so, so simple.

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